I'm using process of elimination to determine which of our neighbors i fucked last night.
professor came back from spring break missing a tooth
Were at her birthday dinner and her dad keeps buying me shots saying when I was your age I fucked the shit outta girls
Hahahahahaha remind him your dating his daughter
He rode my dog to the bathroom and wouldn't stop laughing once he got in. It was scary.
I'm not saying Tijuana was a bad idea, I'm saying that we make poor life choices. And Steve was robbed by the police.
The airport has the best people watching and munches... It should be a destination drinking location
PA to anyone at the party last night and wondering where your pants are: they are in my backyard.
My dick has a subreddit
Tolerating him while I'm not drunk is like trying to find a word that rhymes with orange
Update: the condoms are expired and Canadians are NOT to be trusted!
DO NOT LET HIM TAKE CONTROL OVER YOUR BOWELS
Pretty sure we had a civil war reenactment in your kitchen at 4am.
That would explain the cannon.
I JUST HAD TO SNORT THE REST OF MY BAG OF COKE BECAUSE THE BAG RIPPED IN THE WORK BATHROOM.
I'm guessing you feel amazing due to all the caps?
LETS GET THIS SHIT DONE. IM GONNA GET THIS SHIT DONE, FOREVER.
I call bullshit
Call it what ever you want I just need to figure out how to get permanent marker off my cock
After returning from the hospital with lock-jaw from getting tackle at the game. Some naked chick busted out of his room and hit him with a devastating haymaker to the jaw because he wouldn't have sex
Randomize
