please. tell me to stop eating out of the trash.
Not only is chick snoring like a 48 year old man but she's farting in rhythm
this dieting is killing me...just started drooling watching a dog food commercial
adderall flavored popcorn. yes we did it and its awesome
Contrary to what I yelled at them last night, it turns out campus police CAN arrest people...
It would be been irresponsible not to make cleaning the apartment into a drinking game
I'm sitting by myself in my bra eating a waffle and drinking pineapple rum. gamedaaaayyyyyyy
That's so unfortunate for him bc you can always find another penis, but he's stuck with it
Confidence is key. All I had to tell him is I'm drinking a bottle of wine and eating chocolate today to celebrate that I love myself. That's how you get a Valentine, my friend.
He wrote on the paper that he wanted a "Ptitty burreto" from taco bell...when we ordered it the girl paused and entered "Potatoe burrieto"....we laughed
To tired for the bar. Came home and drank wine out of the bottle. Kind of don't want to know what that says about my life.
which one of you assholes put my new jeans down the garbage disposal?!
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
I need a drink. No, several. I need several drinks. Drunk, I need to be drunk. Definitely need to be drunk
I woke up and couldn't find her. She had somehow managed to get into the closet and lock herself in. She was crying for her boyfriend. Thirsty Thursday at its finest
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