my mario cart skills improve with alchohol. and i think my real car skills do to but the cop didnt see my logic
I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.
I think this dress is screaming I want a birthday 3some with two moderately attractive guys. I hope.
how in the hell can u get pulled over when ur car is parked.
this kid just offered me adderall in exchange for my meal points. college at its finest
You want anything?
Gatorade and you naked.
I woke up with her dog licking the wedding cake out of my ear and her sister finishing our Jaeger
I actually cannot wait for your visit. I miss people who make me look like the virgin mary in comparison.
Pounding your chest saying "me Tarzan" is not flirting or even talking
the new numbers in my phone would beg to differ
There is always the bar, but 2 30 on a Tuesday just screams alcoholism
I mean, you got a giant dick. I've seen lawn gnomes that are smaller.
You were trying to be sexy by spraying your contact solution on your chest and telling me to lick it off
i've got three words. i. was. spanked.
So I fell alseep while I was motorboating that girl last night infront of the entire party.
Oh, do you remember telling everyone you were with that your vagina was angry last night?
Randomize
