I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
I dont shave on purpose to keep myself from being slutastic!! it usually works
dude she wont stop talking about little people big world...she said my penis looked like zach roloff and took a picture with her phone?
Woman walking into toby keith concert: 8 months pregnant, black eye, shirt on that has a picture of a boot and the words "we'll put a boot up your ass" with an american flag printed over--the sleeves were ripped off and she had a camo cowboy hat. Greatest thing I've ever seen.
she just gave her compliments to the chief, at dennys
Just woke up to my stoned boyfriend building a shrine around my bare ass. He'll never leave me.
Showering in my swimsuit in hopes of getting the beer smell out.
You might have crossed the line by jerking off while she was in the bathroom taking a prego test. Just saying
I found your knife. It was stuck in my bedroom ceiling.
Her fortune said that she will soon be free. She's taking her bra off at the table.
His penis contains the glue that keeps this relationship together.
Dude. Went to buy some jack and sailor Jerry, when the guy at the counter realized it was my birthday everybody in the store including the stoners and the elderly sang to me. Then they gave me shots of moonshine. 21st bday was a success
About 98% sure I just walked by some dude jerking it in the library. I'm guessing his college experience isn't going as planned
He said he was a banker. Then he told me he made 15 an hour. I said he was a shitty banker then fucked his friend.
Think of the things uve done in the past. And ask urself "have I done worse?" If u answer yes. Its perfectly ok.
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