for on dont try to tell me you love me after three weeks of talking, for two if you are going to do that stay away from the song lyrics to a very good country song that you happened to ruin by using it, and for three erase my number im fuckin your sister now
I feel uncomfortable when she gargles my jizz.
Just saw actual Chinese people doing a Chinese firedrill. Good day.
Fun fact: tonight on intervention was the guy who did my tattoo
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I'm still drunk from last night...I walked out for a cigarette with one of the Janitors here and apparently someone took a shit on the stairs...Which makes me wonder...was that me?
Seriously. My exes act like they own shares of my vagina.
Well, in their defense, they have invested a lot of time and money
He's really hot. I think he's gonna be my reason to shave this winter.
At what point would you like us to save you from yourself?
I know shes my ex. And I know she punched me in the face and stole my car to go get drunk. But it's the best sex I've ever had.
You're sick. Take pictures if you can.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Guess who just rode home in a cop car?! Your Fav flamingo
I specialize in how to hang out and party with randoms after you've hooked up with them. Not in feelings.
omg his dad is hot
... I'm currently away at the moment. Leave a msg since I cannot express how much I can't help you stop ruining peoples lives.
As he put it in he shouted "geronimo!"
Wow... So was the sex good?
Yeah but it doesn't matter. My vagina is not a pool.
I'm so drunk I forgot what to do to go pee.
I was pretty sure he wouldn't be into me after I fucked his brother, and then his best friend, and yet, here I am doing lines off his stomach
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