did the walk of shame from ex-boyfriend's room only to find other ex-boyfriend sitting in the living room. some people shouldn't be allowed to be friends.
some people shouldn't be allowed to be desperate.
I've done unspeakable things to your penis. I have every right to give it a name.
I just discovered cum stains from two different guys on my wall. I don't know whether to be proud or horrified.
Is all white too much for court to prove my innocents?
Blackout strip poker. Now. Bring flashlights because we found that candles are dangerous with nudity.
Hey, 'thunder cock' as proud as I am for you getting laid, could you put a muzzle on her? I have to be up at 5, thanks.
I have better things to do with my life than be faithful.
I'm gonna make some noodles and go to bed. Hopefully I don't fall into the stove or something.
It was like something out of a fucked up fairy tale. He just crowdsurfed over to her while riding a keg, said "come sail with me", and then the crowd carried them off into the night. What.
Wife and kids came home early...naked passed out covered in chili cheese Fritos dad will haunt them forever.
And i have once again masturbated to an amazing soundtrack. what a time to be alive
It was somewhere in between an airport security patdown and a medical examination. No groping or squeezing, just brief pokes and pats.
Come get me...at gazebo by side entrance....im passed out in a bush...this is a Bar A bouncer texting for your buddy
Because of you I can never eat chicken nuggets without thinking of you fucking him. I hope youre happy. I really do.
Hey long story short Grandma needs bail money.
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