Yea, forget your mom. She will be home after her one night stand.
Do you think this abandoned cigarette has herpes? cuz I'm tempted.
even after i explained my bobby knight costume the bartender still kicked me out for throwing the chair
dude i just made a burrito by wrapping 2 packs of scooby snacks with a fruit roll up. im so high
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I need to figure out what I wanna do with my life.
There are margaritas in the freezer still.
Hey I never found my wallet but i did find a bag of 14 soft taco supremes
I have your wallet. Trade you for the tacos.
Should I tell her she gave me head in the kitchen while I was eating a cupcake or would that hurt her dignity too much?
She is high at the bar - she thinks the bottle of frangelico is aunt jemima telling her to stop doing drugs.
please tell me we weren't that bad as freshmen
i can't, we're worse now
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Like we just had a bunch of sex and then he threaded my eyebrows in bed lol. It was amazing
The guy got mobbed on, all hell broke loose. About 20 cops showed up, and this kid somehow convinced a cop that letting him pee in front of him is justifiable. This guy could sweet talk Hellen Keller, he was THAT good
No one knows how to work that "I pulled a muscle in my leg" drunk swagger like you can
Tinder has really served to stimulate the number of sex related demons summonings.
I want to shoot him sideways (so he can still breathe) in the Adam's apple with my little crossbow.
Any luck with the purse?
No, though I did find her weed. Also her sons name is King. I'm uncertain how I feel about that
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