it makes it look bigger when i shave, i hope its not the same for a girl
he burped in my vagina and tried to deny it...
Do you remember anything yesterday that led to needing a cup of couscous in my closet?
one night of dollar margs at dinner and dollar beers at the bar later, i am throwing up in his shower and gurgling soap and water to kill the taste of sin in my mouth. dollar days need to stop endng like this.
My goal tonight is to get arrested because what cop can say they have ever arrested a giant sperm before. God I love halloween
You just squeezed a person out of you and I'm drunks at 2PM. Our lives got traded and you know it and you're jealous.
I may or may not be negotiating a deal of baked goods for socks...keep you posted
You would be my first round pick for a drinking team
That's where the buck stops? Buying girlfriends online? THAT is where you draw the line?!
As we were about to go at it, his roommates barged in singing jumper by third eye blind. Weirdest almost one night stand ever.
Fell twice in five points. on my face. literally during a cross walk. The cars just went around me. 21st birthday memories right there
She told me she ate a whole pizza today, and I just wanted to hug her forever.
I'm far too poor to be letting my hookups wear my shirts home. I'm down to about a total of 8 shirts and have no intention of buying more
Uh oh we had sex and I don't think I like him anymore help
Yeah man, you were grinding with his wife, I wouldn't be worried about it
Randomize
