my boobs are a 3G dead zone. as soon as i take my phone out of my bra, it has a signal again.
I cont stop tolking in a british axsent
I just fell asleep with a sandwich in my mouth at Cosi..people definitely saw
Last night was def like the makeout party episode of full house
I saw a chick at 8 am this morning walking back to my dorm wearing wings... I'm kind of jealous.
you'll be glad to know I got kicked off the microphone at a bar in Breckenridge last night thanks to my country rendition of all star
did you know that snuggie is the perfect anti-freak out aid for stoners? it weighs you down so you can't go anywhere. just sit there and enjoy the movie, that's right.
Woah there. I lasted a semester and a fourth of college not having sex. trust me when i say keeping my virginity was an obstacle course of olympic proportions.
The virgin olympics. I would win the gold. For America.
he threw up in a solo cup, then washed it out and used it to play flip cup. Im not sure if thats resourceful or disgusting.
So, this year for my birthday, want to get rip-roaring schmammered and watch my episode of my super sweet 16? We can do lines off my tiara.
I woke up this morning and the search history on my phone says: "What is this castle in front of my house?"
Qdoba locked their bathrooms last night.. I suppose so people didn't pee all over them? I considered it counter productive considering I just peed on the outside of their building then. I had to pee
Everyone is speaking Spanish and this 300 hundred pound chick is talking about the time she got out of prison... Fuck this place
I am so not sober enough to have a 5 minute conversation in Spanish
HE CHOSE A RESTAURANT AND MADE A FUCKING RESERVATION. I AM SHOOK
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