The dr is doing well, he randomly asked if I was bi
I gave her the chance to be interesting and she failed. So then I gave her a chance to be slutty and she failed at that too.
I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
You are two creepy Justin Bieber quotes away from me not talking to you for the rest of the day
If I had a pelvic thrust emoticon, I would use it
Her friend drew me a diagram of how we could get away with her giving me a blowjob at work.
Reason #57 I am going to fail the bar... it's Tuesday and i'm drunk at Toy Story 3.
it was one of those movies netflix should have sent weed with
i really appreciated the lovely drunk rendition of whitney houstan's "i wanna dance with somebody" you left on my voicemail.
Her life is proof that being a drunken slut will get you places.
My sister came home, pulled two nalgene bottles of jaeger-bomb out of the fridge, changed out her 3 inch heels for 6 inch heels and left in under 3 minutes. I've never been more proud of her.
Peeling duct tape off of my dick is definitely one of the stranger sensations that I've experienced.
Relationships are fuckin' work. And you can't just up and leave with no questions when you really just need to get home because you're about to shit your pants.
You're so wise.
See! Theres potential!
Oh yeah. All good relationships start with a threesome.
My soul is telling me that I need to take this exam naked.
I have already put on my inside pants.
Randomize
