So how did finding that girl you know on GGW go?
I was so pissed when it just previews her all covered up. It would have been easier to just have sex with her
Yeah but then you would have a case of genitals gone wild
hey is it cool if i invite some fat girls to the party so i can be the skinny one?
yeah okay. but if i take one home with me you have to come over in the morning and tell her to get her shit and go.
my one-armed grandma is doing the YMCA. you figure it out.
I'm trapped in whichever ring of hell is populated by inbred yokels and type 2 diabetes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I interrupted her conversation with, "are we gonna fuck yet?" and she immediately got naked. thanks for the blind date
He said female orgasms are a myth and refuses to even try to give me one.
Yes. I am getting trashed on an open tab while judging a karoke competition
Impressive. I approve.
I've thrown up in front of nearly every customer we've had today.
Maybe we should invest in one and when one of us wishes to be a hot mess in a wheel chair the other one will push the mess around to wherever it wants to go.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My legs r really sober for running now
I don't think that's how sobriety works.
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a Chick-Fil-A breakfast sandwich. How's your Monday?
Was having the best sex dream I've had in a while and only woke up when I heard my grandma fall down the stairs.
Guess who just enrolled into online classes at Hogwarts? This gal.
...and if you can get the necessary ingredients to make the Buffalo Chicken Melt, I will latch forever at your Teat of Justice.
Do you know how difficult it is to masturbate with Christmas carols stuck in your head?!
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