Just saw truck nuts on a handicap conversion van
come on don't hate me. your brother looks just like you its almost a complement that i had sex with him.
One blow job doesn not make me gay.
pretty sure if my vagina had a mouth, it would have been smiling afterwards.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He chucked my pickle at the bouncer. Fucker, I wanted that.
It was awful. Mid hookup he started reading the titles of the books over my bed, which were about Russian imperial history. He then started asking me questions about the class I was reading the books for. I was like "WE HAVE TIME FOR THAT LATER, PLEASE CONTINUE."
I know he'd never cheat on me. It'd be like choosing Mexican tap water over Patron.
It's really not cool dreaming about going into labor with your ex boyfriends love child as you're sleeping next to him.
You were my sober police. You had one job and you failed miserably.
I'm a corrupt cop.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I spent the money she owed me on enough magnum condoms to make a blimp. Damn right I'm going to make the best of it.
I'm not sure what your ex was trying to say to me I was too busy chanting your name in his face
He had a step stool to get in to his bed!
Give it up bro. I’m not wearing pants or a bra and only an act of god could change that
that is our friendship pylon, do not lose it
fuck you.
DO NOT LOSE IT
Need to use your shower bro.
FWB wearing glitter again?
It’s like she’s marking her territory
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