I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
i'm pretty sure god just pointed at me and laughed
just used a blowie as payment for him having to take the dog out to let her poop.
Kinda felt bad though cuz she whimpered and shuttered a lot, i felt like i was kicking a puppy, only the puppy liked it and came a bunch
my host sister just stared at me as i knocked over the lamp, then took out all my chocolate, walked into the bathroom, and locked the door. i'm officially the worst exchange student ever.
Just so you know, a true one night stands ends with a 7 minute blow job after eating a sandwich she made for you while the taxi you called for her comes
Judging by the crutches in the living room I take it you two are fine and we aren't going out tonight?
Ordered a large pizza and definitely just paid the cab driver in pizza slices. I'm glad there's someone out there that's just as fat at heart as we are.
So I got my junk pierced since we've fucked. You should get in on this.
So I don't know, I'm not a doctor, but I might be juggling dates with 3 different guys...
You are the jesus of drinking
First day back to class and I have already pulled out the hard liquor
My walk of shame is starting to become positively reinforcing; I stop by Starbucks and when I leave I look someone just heading to work.
ED guy's penis finally worked last night. It was a Festivus miracle!
Dude, she stopped mid blow job to ask the cat's name. ADHD might be a deal breaker after all.
Randomize
