Wooohooo! I'm sitting in the car like a creep watching people walk in and out of Blush. Lots of happy people.
let's just say, the carpet matched the drapes. in colour and length.
how can i change my meal plan to a keystone plan?
I was happy to be the center of attention..until i realized why everyone was staring
I just single handedly caused ferngully by printing the wrong 900 page document
Dude, you need to understand there is a fine line between "guilty pleasure" and in the closet gay
Does it count if I'm only ambidextrous while masturbating?
Yeah. I realized I have a weakness for drugs and I need to move somewhere where I don't know how to find them.
I'm okay. We got a prayer rug sent to us with the face of jesus on it. From Tulsa Oklahoma. Kinda weird.
We were having an argument with his friends mom about whether it was worse that he bootycalled me at 4 a.m. or that I bootycalled him at 12 in the afternoon
It takes a special kind of man to fart REALLY loudly right before entering a woman and still get some. This has been a state of bootytown address.
Urgent. Do not ignore. What does this "=$" shit mean. Quality foreign dick is at stake here
The last time I saw her someone was carrying her on a bike and she was yelling that she was E.T.
I couldn't break up with him while I was wearing a Hakuna Matata shirt.
And with the bitter taste of failure in my mouth, i am off to pub to drown it in tequila and 19 year olds, so in the morning i can add pregnancy and stds to my list of problems.
Randomize
