I mean, he's dancing back and forth between pathetically sad and massively fucking creepy.
I truly don't know anything about sober relationships. Normally I would just drunkenly yell "sex?" in a guy's face. What do I do now? Be like, sooo uhhh, wanna do it? Awkward, and even worse, I will remember clearly just how awkward it was.
They really brought out their best strippers for vday weekend
It's just a matter of time. The ball is in my court. Soon to be in her mouth.
He called my vagina a rainforest. This is coming from a guy whose pubes are longer than his dick.
The first clue should've been that he literally had shit in his hair. How does that even happen?
There is a contact in my phone named "Bar Mcntysu." this is why we need a third person to go out with us.
I was crying hysterically and you wouldn't stop petting my ear and shushing me every time I tried to say something.
You guys bombarded us in the bathroom and that kid whipped his dick out and peed in the sink.
She's riding a bike down the street and drinking brown liquor. A pt cruiser is honking at her and she's like I HEAR YOU!!
I can't feel my clothes. I'm convinced I'm naked
honestly dont worry about it, its not the first time ive injured myself on a potted cactus during sexual relations with a woman
My cat just tried to lay on my stomach while I was masturbating. And I let her because I am so starved for affection.
Not entirely sure how I got drunk off 2 mimosas but here I am
All I need to do is acquire a Shrek costume.
Please don't traumatize your girlfriend too terribly. Have fun.
Randomize
