is it bad that i think of my life in terms of the sims? like when i'm hitting it off with someone, i really wish a plus sign would appear above my head. and when i throw up from drinking way too much, a minus sign.
don't go back without me... they'll know i'm pooping.
Herpes is a lot like Arnold Schwartzenneger. Because it always comes back. Also, because it is usually in some way in control of California.
You seriously need to keep doing my sexting for me. I just said something about "riding cock like a dick rodeo"
I feel like my teeth are sweating.
Just had a brita power hour to try to counter act all the wine i chugged last night.....fucking franzia
No, the weekend was great. It was the waking up in the pond in the raft without an oar that sucked. That fucking water is cold at 7am.
My catholic guilt is strong, but the alcohol is stronger.
Hey do you have any hot friends that would settle for less?
Says the girl who left her friends to go have phone sex in the bathroom at Michael's
Painting strippers breast and vaginas to look like easter eggs. What r u doing tonight.
My mom always wanted to raise a classy lady, it just turned out to not be her daughter.
someone just "made it rain" kraft processed sliced cheese. i forgot what it was like to be home...
Lost my pants last night. Really need to stop taking shots of whiskey like I'm eating skittles.
I promise I won't bug you anymore, I just need the following things at your convenience but preferably soon: my earrings, cup, and panties. Thanks. Good talk.
Randomize
