i luv seein jocks study. its like watching monkeys masturbate.
I just made out with a girl with a life jacket on wtf is going on
just drew up plans to mow my front lawn into the American flag for world cup. that high and patriotic.
i wont go near him until the smell goes away , and he takes the chex mix box off his head.
Thanks for last night. Sorry if i was obnoxious. I respect your morals and i wouldn't want you to lose your virginity to a drunk girl in your mom's prius.
She is high at the bar - she thinks the bottle of frangelico is aunt jemima telling her to stop doing drugs.
We picked up some guys dressed as shamrocks at taco bell. I will text you with further information.
I barely remember the girls that I got pregnant, you think I'm gunna remember the ones that played handball
She told me she ate a whole pizza today, and I just wanted to hug her forever.
I just found a piece of squished oatmeal cream pie in my armpit. So very sad.
I almost tased myself
I dont think you should own that device.
It's an awesome device. I love this device.
My hand smells like rave and peanut butter.
It's the Ides of March, motherfucker. That means we're supposed to daydrink, right?
Speaking of dignity, who all saw me....
I just realized u compared me to a coconut
Randomize
