so i just saw your dad embarking upon a biking journey in full reflective gear
...this stays between you and me
operation harelip BJ is a go
she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
have the fact that the early bird is danced upon by the prettiest strippers be your motivation
Man, I must say, having known you since preschool, Eiffel-Tower-ing her would've fully completed our journey to brotherhood.
Apparently, I kept going on about how i'm going to name my first born Ramen. I think this is a good parenting move.
Sitting in the library studying = googling how to get laid in the library.
Just made a floating bacon boat for the hot tub. This is what America is all about.
I am just saying if Clark Kent walks into your life, you fuck him
Her roommate was talking on her cell when I came out of the bedroom and I definitely heard her describe how shitty and terrified I looked. Awesome.
If it was any colder outside, the frost from my breath would make a mixed drink
when my phone is in portrait view you can just assume i've been watching porn. that's the only thing i want to see in full view.
I feel like I could have been bitchier and missed an opportunity.
its weird getting into a political debate with a pony dressed as an anime character online
I just want to trace his tattoos with my tongue
Randomize
