he put his p in my v, then his p in my a, and then tried to put the p in my m? first, double dipping is rude. second, i'm glad he finished shortly after that, i'm afraid of where he'd try to stick it next. my ear?
I feel if a girl leaves my house the next morning feeling degraded and in desparate need of a shower, then I have succeeded.
Was just explained ingredients in a four loko. Puzzles of the universe starting to piece together.
After we were finished she said "That was like marriage sex". Should I take that as a compliment or insult?
Too lazy to make dinner. Had chocolate and scotch instead. Check in with me in a half hour.
My boyfriend sold my favorite shoes right off my fucking feet last night outside the bar. It might have played a part in our breakup today.
My suggestion is that you just get high and set shit on fire
He held the kayak still so I wouldn't tip over while projectile vomiting. If that ain't true love, I don't know what is...
yea sometimes its awkward. but when you're a straight bartender at a gay bar and everyone knows it, they all think that they can make me turn gay. its like oh yea dude that extra $20 tip makes me want to suck some dick now
just got permission to expense a nerf gun
We climaxed at the same time during ain't no mountain high enough. Does it get more cheesy or domestic for a non relationship?
I was the only one in group sessions to bring up sex as a stress reliever. Some of those people were awfully judgy despite the fact we were all in a psych ward.
Did you really have to freak out and get up half way through to put the cat in the closet?
...
How's moving going?
Uh, we're on the way to the store to buy more booze
My ex just brought my grandpa weed. Not sure how I feel about this.
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