i have a strong urge to join the asians in the park doing tai chi. I think im still high .
So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
That Joe Wilson reference just earned you a blow job, Mister!
Definitely just saw a grown man at wal mart wearing high heels and carrying a baby
What the fuck were you doing at wal mart?
Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
I couldnt give him head when all I could hear was his little brother playing the piano and this family singing along to it.
Mym mom just came downstairs as I got ghome ans I'm trying to act SO CASUAL as i stabdh here hut icant help bur be like 'girl where's ther Turkey sandwiche s' haahaa
I literally need you to talke care of me soooo9o9oooooo drubj gril makin a sabdwiche. SO far its judst bred and paper towel...
She gained 35 lbs and has an ankle bracelet, time for new booty call.
Just lifeguarded a kid's party hungover so I could afford to go out drinking tonight. Circle of life shit goin on here.
So it sounded like a midget was barfing IN our walls again this morning ...
Crazy how fast a room full of drunk teenagers sober up when someone breaks his parents' new flat screen
I have lots of feelings today, but drunk is my favorite.
Like its not even midnight and I've already had enough of her for all of 2015
Theres about 23 grilled cheese sandwiches stuck to my ceiling and tomato soup all over the kitchen. You are never allowed over again. Ever.
Right before he dumped me... he got a really ugly pair of pants. They were twill pants. A pinkish color. When I'm sad... I picture him in them. It makes me smile.
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