AIM automatically accepts video chats on my laptop. I found this out when I got a text from Jacob after my first attempt at drunk lesbian sex saying, "I'd give it a 7. You need to work on your positioning." I think I'm single now.
We discussed our relationship status. We're dating exclusively. And the conversation was followed by him saying "C'mon baby, let's make you orgasm!" .....I'm gonna marry him.
Drunkenly found an error on my bar tab last night. THANK YOU ACCOUNTING.
Oh I also wanted to thank you for leaving your list of porn sites on the coffee table. Very entertaining.
I can't believe im sexting my roommate. This is really what my life has come to
You had a towel around you and you called it your shot bib.
The great thing about skinny blondes is that they're all interchangeable.
my heart is telling me chinese, but my head is telling me beer.
I want someone to sweep me off my feet and you want someone to fuck you on the kitchen table. They're both perfectly logical needs.
No. I'm drinking straight up vodka right now. With a pineapple in it.
That'll put some boobs in that bra.
Bring scissors.....i think im gonna have to be cut out of this damn jockstrap
Idk dude but he said something bout his "dick was gonna be so tan" then he jus jumped out of the car
Two things. 1) party at my house this Friday 2) what was the name of the Australian you fucked on the cruise ship?
We're too hungover to prance.
Just let me pee on you and I'll leave you alone.
Randomize
