you want me
i'd rather choke on a dick.
Eating a burrito bowl w/ queso sauce is about as cool as the first time you have sex w/ out a condom
Your mouth is God's brothel.
I just had one of those moments where i was really sad that i'll never get to be asian.
I now have an ENTIRE drawer of unused disposable silverware from Boston Market... and you guys said I needed to "buy" kitchen stuff
She answered the door wearing a blanket and holding a golf club. I was too late for this party.
theres chocolate ground into my couch, nerds candy all over the floor and cocaine on every surface. great memorial day weekend and yours?
My dick hurts from so many people grabbing it last night. We're not going back to that club
If I can't get slightly excited by the thought of his face between my legs then I know I can never sleep with him.
All I'm saying is that if you have time for a 20 min shower bj you have time for me
His cat watched us the ENTIRE time. Every time I glanced over the poor kitty looked at me as if I were pelvic thrusting her father to death.
Nothing quite like the "I had sex you a month ago and now we're stopped at the same 4 way" wave
He's gonna do me a solid for doing her a solid. It's like pay it foward. But with sex.
Stop confusing me with every girl you know that doesn't like sex.
They walked into the house to see me in my neon pink knee high socks trying to pull you out of the cat carrier by your legs...
Randomize
