I have a love/hate relationship when men come within a 10 minute time frame.
It's gotten to the point where NOT peeing in the sink feels strange and uncomfortable.
The Rock is playing the tooth fairy. I can't believe I used to smell what that man was cooking
If it makes you feel better, I doubt anything could survive in your uterus.
I am drinking at a movie theater seeing a children's movie, 2nd time this week
i was surprised by the severity of his small dick condition
Apparently as I was doing the walk of shame home my dad's date was on her way to hers. hoes come in all ages these days
I am going to ride along with a cop tonight so please don't get arrested because that would be super awkward for me.
I'm out of town so we should be golden.
Yep I can make a seagull sound. It's identical. I tried it. They thought I was talking to them. It's pretty cool.
Took me 10 minutes of oral to finally get him hard for like 30 seconds of sex until he came and passed out. Def not worth the ROI.
Funny, 'cause his story is it went great. He faked passing out so he wouldn't have to do anything in return.
People spilled so much that there was a thin film of beer on the floor. You took a running start, screamed, "SLIP AND SLIDE!" and slid face first through the drywall.
The problem with having sex on the couch is that your blanket ends up in the laundry and you're left cold on the couch the next day.
I told him about the time I blacked out and shit myself and he still wanted to have sex with me that night. Feeling pretty optimistic about where this fling is going.
I have a magical vagina and I can't deny it anymore
I joined the mile high club last night. I ran a mile while high on coke. It was glorious
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