Not sure what happened last night, but there are four mini bikes outside and some guy is wearing my shirt passed out in the breakfast nook. Won't be telling the grand kids about this one.
There is a banner on a house by campus that says "welcome to college dads. Thanks for dropping off your daughters!"
Kelly Kapowski is pregnant and it's not Zach Morris'. I no longer believe in true love.
her last google searches are 'cheap african safari' and 'what does lion taste like'
once you have herpes you dont really care what goes in your mouth anymore.
No she had like 2 shots and started ironing her clothes and whispering random shit in my ear
If they weren't representing Obama and the White House, they definitely would've punched me in the face.
$645 later, she's throwing up in my washroom and asking for a cab. Hooker are soooo much cheaper.
Do u feel more socially accepted since someone else made up their girlfriend too?
I gave a very stressed out cashier a mini bottle from my purse the day after Christmas. It's what Jesus would have done.
You're a good person. Sharing is caring.
I am pretty sure I just put SoCo in the bird feeder
Well I'm half drunk in a green tutu at a chipotle. So pretty good parade.
I woke up not knowing what state I was in. Turns out, people from Deleware are pretty helpful.
Dude like i feel like i did ALL OF THE DRUGS yesterday
When i said you could use my car and have sex in the back....i wasn't being serious.
Randomize
