Midget sex pt 2 tonight
you traded sex for a burrito?
woke up in nothing but a glued-on tiger tail. they used super glue.
so apparently the car got towed with me passed out in the back seat.
WHY AREWNT YOU HERE SO MUCH FUN STUFF DO IT GET IN CAR NOW caps lock
I shouldn't be home alone with this much peanut butter and the dog. I feel like i'm being recorded to see when my desperation will peak.
No...this little piggys going to the bar
we were looking for paper towels to wrap his hand and i yanked a drawer out of the cabinet, it was fun so we just kept doing it. things escalated and long story short, he isn't gettin his security deposit back
He's listening to "my heart will go on" by himself in the living and its not even noon. MAKE IT STOP.
I just look at my butt and see so much potential.
I was totally pumped and so was my beard
Well let me fuck you while I make potatoes. It's every girls dream
Just realized how behind i am. Will gradually increase drinking until i don't remember that i missed an entire year of class.
I’ve developed a strange interest in ear wax removal vids on YouTube. Dear god, I need to get a job
got the runs at the club last night. wondering when it'll be safe to show my face again.
Randomize
