OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
Last night i stole a disco ball from a frat house by pretending i was pregnant.
I have all these new brothers and sisters I'm just now finding out about
so I think I'm done having sex with her, she's way too crazy
what about the blowjobs for adderall?
no those are still okay
Found my puke from September encrusted to the floor under the dresser while cleaning before move out ..... Oh Freshman year
Beware of calls from Dad. I just had a longer than I would care to admit convo about the ididarod. Apparently it starts tomorrow.
Fixing to yell "you're too hot for her" at a Gerard butler look alike. There is absolutely no way this is going to end well...
The other. Cat spoke to me and left. This shit is laced
The first cat might save me but they are taking out masks
I'm really hoping to find some quality strange ass tonight while at my court appearance.
I will tell my future kids about the time I went to the bar with a stomach virus. Like a champ.
somehow this went from sexting to explaining my eating disorder.
So much rum. So many feels.
got a blowjob in the bar bathroom, got arrested for public intoxication, and found a big bag of weed on the ground on my walk home from the station. my friday night could have been a movie
it's like that moment that you're driving and realize you're lost except instead of driving i'm just sitting here in my living room drunk, eating a plate of sausages, drinking red wine and just thinking "i'm going to be 28 this year. i know people who are married, with beautiful and well behaved children. where was the wrong turn?"
it was the most awkward makeout ever. it was record breaking really
...i feel like you have a lot of those.
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