Will you still be my friend if I read and enjoyed Twilight?
No
yup. cregs moms pubic hair is still glued to the celing
So even though we broke up apparently according to my voice mail you still like me, with smurfs while riding on a boat.
I'm really sorry I gave you road head last night and made you drive over and break the sprinkler system.
You said you wanted to start a restaurant called 'Barbecue' where everything is barbecued. You sounded really proud of your concept.
she is legit wearing a plastic bag around her neck as a necklace. she says it serves two purposes.
I think I fixed my testicle. That's why I didnt pay $25 for a doctor to do it
I think I may have walked up to her while she was with her friends and asked for a "do over".
There's holes in the drywall and the beer pong table is a broken door on two barstools. You know they like to party.
and then i signed some dudes back with a turkey hand print in honor of thanksgiving
On my way to get pizza I followed a dog into Salvation Army where I was just hired
I'm pretty sure I imagined the dog... They still hired me
He just pulled a Spanish chick using google translate!!!! We are at the bar and she speaks zero English. Hes a fucking magician!!!!!!
You gave your one night stand my number. I told him you left for your sex change an hour ago.
I think I fell asleep on my pizza last night. Damn, I am sauccccy.
I just kept eating and watching him slide down the stairs head first
Randomize
