I think I speak chipmunk. Odd.
Are you high?
No. That's why it's odd
Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
the star wars geek is hitting on me, and is talking about his lightsaber. need back up NOW
someone called me shannon dorrhety annnd it hurt my feelingsd.
haha you were like: "I don't want to uh pressure you.." as you took your own shirt off
Jesus once told his disciples that its better to hang out with your best friend than give some douche bag a bj.
so not only am i rooming with two chicks on the volleyball team, but we just put down the deposit on a hot tub. this is going to be the best summer ever for my dick.
dude, im taking a shit and i just realized it's his MOM in the shower not him...oh fuck
Cancun blessed me with a drinking problem
Accomplishment of the day: changing my tampon at 38,000 ft with turbulence. Fasten seatbelt sign was definitely on.
I'm still, like... really stoked about not having any STDs
I'm gonna give the church their tithe, and the rest is a down payment on boobs.
Crawl out into the sunshine and off your vibrator for 7 minutes
Get the fuck in, we're going to Taco Bell.
At least he uses his lack of impulse control for chaotic good instead of chaotic evil
Randomize
