How long do you think herpes can live on chapstick?
just watched a girl laugh at her own fingers... it's not even noon...
he's wearing our apron and eating a pb and oreo sandwich. and calling the oreos "topless" since he took their tops off...
I just met the neighbor hes a self proclaimed coke dealer/ softporn producer.
we drunk the bar out of liquor so the guy was selling us bottles of wine for $2a each. Only good thing to come outta this flood
Just so were clear I meant the head your face is on
I guess I fell on the bar and kept trying to get back in telling the bouncer that I left my teeth at the bar. Woke up this morning with chipped tooth
His car is rigged up like the cash cab how am i supposed to not sleep with him
Pulled over to puke on the way to sign closing papers on the house...Good sign of responsibility.
So when I walked out, everyone was chanting ONE OF US, someone draped a lei over my head, and then she grabbed my ass and dragged me back into the bedroom. I'd say it was a pretty good night to lose my virginity.
I'm more of a "get high and take a bath" kinda guy.
Started crying to "that's the way it is" by celine. What the fuck uterus?!
Is there a tactful way to ask "how are your balls?" Or do I just ask point blank
MAGGIE IS ON MY COUCH PETTING AN HONEST TO CHRIST ARMADILLO AND SOBBING INTO HOT CHOCHOLATE. WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO TO HER.
Dude I just clenched/unclenched my hindquarters while looking in the mirror I have fucking talent
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