can't believe I ate straight coffee grounds to stay awake for that
Down at cameli's and some homeless dude just pulled out a taser. Awesome.
Can I use you as a job reference? Don't tell them i got you fired cause I banged you tho
I'm having a self conscious moment and I need your complete honest opinion of my boobs.
As shirtless as possible
Underwear, t-shirt, bottle of Pinot Grigio and Golden Girls. I've hit a new level of homosexual.
I'm currently making some changes in my life. If you don't hear from me anymore, then you're probably one of them. Or I'm dead.
Hey so when you left last night was i wearing shoes?
I forgot how easy it is to have sex in public when you're wearing a dress. Thank you global warming.
Our host-mom was rubbing her back sympathetically going "muy bien, chica" while she puked on the beach. So yeah, I think we got the best one.
Yeah, the email that I was sending to get an Escort for the weekend, copied and pasted to my boss, that should be interesting conversation, when I come back from Christmas vacation break.
I'm using her Instagram as a way to know where in town she is so I can avoid her lol
I hate when my Bumble matches make it hard for me to stalk them.
I just turned down an invite to sit on a face. IDK who I am.
What? Are you sick?
Why did I wake up with a half-eaten burrito and a vaccuum cleaner in my bed? ...on top of me.
Randomize
