Waaait I'm alsleep in myt car somewhere
I put the beer in my little red riding hood basket.
watching hot guy on train scrolling with his blackberry's track ball... o to be that track ball...
The last bar we left there was a sausage stand right outside and I apparently felt bad those guys were working that late, so I bought a $9 sausage, gave it to some drunk kid and said "I support local businesses!!" I'd say I've done my civic duty.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Challenge: Try to have your balls hanging out in every picture you take tonight
Challenge Accepted
I'm going to empty my bank account and roll around in the cash. Want to join?
the fact that i already established a hook up buddy for thanksgiving break is genius
I'm at a bar where I literally walked in to the bathroom and some chick told me to never go to San Joaquin state pen
It would be awesome if I knew whose teeth these were in my pocket
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You have 4 bottles of kahlua in ur drawers but no sox
You're the best friend ever. I wouldn't want to do the walk of shame with anyone else.
Every time we have sex, I feel his dick ramming my soul into submission. Problem is..... I LIKE THAT SHIT!
There is a goat eating lettuce out of our fridge. Do you wanna grab a bloody mary?
We're lying on the pavement outside of the college. No one has asked if we're okay. I think they all understand.
Still had our rainbow strip poker new years tradition. End of night we were only wearing mask.
Did you get the usual surprise pics from the strange straight you like to sprinkle in.
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