Dude, I found out the hard way that she wipes back to front. I ate her out and had to throw up.
yo dibs on the gosselin haired one.
So theres a slight possibility i may not graduate according to planned because i was out getting laid instead of studying. And im okay with that.
Someones car got stolen, everyone is yelling, and im drunk just sayin yeah buddy over and over again
i don't think i ever formally apologized for that time i threw up on your dog.... well...here it is...
Got a stripper to howl at my wolf shirt.
I don't understand how she could dump me AFTER we had shower sex. I'm fucking great at shower sex
Dude I wanna go on a booze cruise
Dude our life is a booze cruise
But without boats...
YOU DON'T JUST GET TO CALL AND SAY YOU MIGHT BE DEAD, THEN NOT ANSWER!
You don't realize how cold it really is...I poured my bong out the second floor window and icicles hit the ground.
My mom is currently drinking alone in our kitchen singing the Dixie Chicks to herself so, hey, alcohol is forever and we should not be shamed for its use.
tonight at the bar some people told me that I have a sprit following me around.. that's the kind of shit that you laugh off till you're home alone.
I'm not dealing with this wiskey dick shit, 2016 is the year of hard dicks
Oh yeah, you are a real peach except for shitting uncontrollably and bleeding out of your face.
I remember the Prince Albert and the three penises in the threesome. But the rest no.
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