made out with the bouncer to distract him from how illegitimate my fake id is.
Her hair smelled like a rat dipped in mustard on fire
FB needs to have a relationship status called...screwing my roommates bf..linking their names would be an easier to tell her!
Just woke up. My philosophy paper is a play, and my paper for musical theater is about physics. That's some dank shit you sold me
While he was going down his phone rang and he answered saying I'll call you later I'm eating.
What happened to him?
He was walking right behind us then disappeared.. turns out he checked his luggage at a night club, continued to drink and dance, then slept on the 4th floor of some museum
Apparently I promised a worker at La Siesta free English lessons to make up for vomming all over the little Mariachi band.
You almost make it sound as if getting an education to further your career is more important than beer and tacos.
130 PACKAGES of glow sticks! The going rate of a rave is $38.30! GET READY FOR THE GLORGY!!!!!!!!!!!!
Getting sick, pulled the filter off a camel crush and rolled it into my joint to clear my sinuses. If there were stoner awards, I'd receive one.
Craig, a bottle of Jamison, and I had a party on the roof last night. No idea how I got down. My injuries indicate fall...
All of her cloths were on our coffee table this morning. The only things she left with last night were her shoes and Scott
how should I feel if a guy kept complimenting my bangs while I was giving him a blowjob?
You have ten minutes starting with this message to get here. Or I'm putting my clothes back on.
She pregamed while taking a shower. Came out clean and drunk.
Randomize