matts gf stood and watched my naked ass gather my clothes off his floor this morning. sweet.
im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
Promise me that if I become one of those sad people that facebook pesters you to 'reconnect with' you'll tell me so I can delete mine and save myself the humiliation?
Did I tell you that you looked cute last night? I looked at the pictures. I lied.
I found a vibrator in my car and it's not mine...this is becoming a weird day.
The one from last night got me a whole floor of Eskimo Brothers. There was a celebration of high fiving as I left
Attempting to teach the cat how to shake. I need a job.
It's like I'm snorkeling in an ocean of tequila.
He makes me want to shower. It must be love.
It's surprise blowjob week. You should be excited.
All I know is I was bleeding, she was bleeding, we stole someone's Lucky Charms, and then I made you guys order a pizza
My sobriety has gotten out of control. I think I need an intervention.
Just heard him in the middle stall. Sounded like someone emptied a toolbox into the toilet.
I think it's your fault my nipples aren't sensitive anymore.
So much for no-infidelity-fridays....
Randomize
