Spencer Pratt, I WILL beat the shit out of you someday, I Promise
so my dad walked in on us having sex
lulz really? why?
lets just say he wont be answering to 'daddy' for a loooooong time
we hate each other therefore the sex is mindblowing
i dont understand blimps. what would happen if they collided would they just bounce off or fall to the ground.
dude how high are you right now?
do you think jeeves would know? you do it. ask jeeves.
i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already
Do you relize what downtown will be like this week? Like open season. But instead of deer its hot baseball players from all over the country that we'll never have to see again. I swear the college world series is a gift from god.
I am downstairs in the bar now having a beer...actually I ordered two beers and placed one across from me in front of an open chair. I did this for appearance sake, so nobody knew I was double fisting all alone. I'm getting hungry now. I'm thinking of ordering two meals just to keep appearances up.
I woke up last night a kitchen floor with my shirt off and I love America written on my leg in eye liner
When I said I wanted you to make noise during sex, I didn't mean mocking ones.
Also, we found a geriatric Snoop Lion.
Nothing warms my heart more than the sight of a naked hockey player in my bed.
Your friends are scaring the cats so I'm going to smoke weed with them to call them down.
You were so drunk you told some dude your life story in one short sentence... and kissed his fiancé. You're invited to the wedding.
How are you supposed to wish the guy you send nudes to good luck for the first day of his new job??
Remember when you brought a guy home from the bar... to our parents house.... on thanksgiving eve?
Randomize
