Approach what situation? Look, I dunno if you think I'm like some lezbo cheetah waitin in some shrubs to pounce on you the second I see you, but I'm not!
well, everyone in my office is getting a nice laugh right now. But seriously... please delete my number
Is it because I queefed?
I just got a bj @ my old preschool...my childhood memories r all ruined
I thought pig tail meant you were suppose to grab on to it when getting BJ
You just kept taking about baking cornbread and doing your physics. Even drunk assed random you is a better student than me.
No one knows who he is but he hasn't missed a shot in beer pong yet. He's dressed as lance armstrong and is tearing shit up.
sticking your hands in the toilet to wash your face is not acceptable. ever. i don't care how drunk you are.
And there might be a gallon of sangria without the lid on the floor in your room. Just be careful when you open the door.
Note to self: Do not bring gift bag with cock ring inside to family Christmas. Leave to unwrap at home.
the old man that you threw the shoe at says "hi" and many rude words...
Pierced my own nipple last night, and yes everyone did go absolutely nuts
Did you leave a mouse under my pillow again?
We had a quickie at work in the office. He walked out before me, and I fell asleep while waiting a few minutes to walk out. Yeah. He's got that change your life dick
When I went to pick up Adam from the train station, I found him passed out, covered in gold paint and wrapped in a red blanket. someone had glued a gaudy green rhinestone to his forehead. He looked homeless.
Watching Colbert Report and porn at the same time.
Randomize
