When my kids ask how I lost my virginity Im going to have to tell them of a mythical thing called "Myspace" and how strangers could lure you into their "den of love" thanks to clever quotes and graphics
Is it just me or do I always seem to have cum in my bellybutton?
there's a girl in the library on mysapce. she must have missed the memo.
Just farted cum and thought I shit myself. Crisis averted tho
He told me he doesn't dance and he hates drunken excitement. Why I ever thought it would work is beyond me.
Yeah we call her cincohandjabos because she gave 5 guys handjobs one night in 5th grade
I am not even close to finishing violently masturbating over that video.
Paying for my weed with Mike's hard lemonade freezables. The perks of having a gay dealer
My life is a video game called get the drunk princess back to her castle, thank you to all that participated
Dude, fate has brought her to your penis.
Fuck you. You were a total asshole last night.
We will get to that, but can anybody tell me whose fucking socks I am wearing?!
ITS THE CIIIIIIRCLE OF SLUUUUUUUTS
When your guy changes his swinger profile to include you. #makingprogress
Just woke up in a Price Chopper bathroom stall with a half eaten cake on the floor. Had to get a ride from the waitress I made out with. What happened to "Don't let me drink Tequila?"
I lied.
All I heard was "sit on my face" "okay" and muffled screaming. I'm still disappointed.
Randomize
