If I had a penis I would totaly hang shit off it. Like stretched out peach rings and fruit rollups.
So i got in my car, the seats are leaned back, and soft soul music is playing. Wtf happened last night.
dipping my christmas cookies in kaluha. santa would be proud.
This is so fucking sad. Netherlands isn't even a real country.
He was completely serious when he said my boobs were like "majestic white clouds."
Well sorry I accidentally spooned your mom and possibly threw up on you
I changed my birth control schedule so that I'm on my period while you're gone this week
I don't deserve you.
By the way anyone who is willing to be in the film while tripping gets free shrooms.
I just really hate taking care of things... If I can't fill it with liquor I'm not sure what to do with it.
Do not ever get that redhead chem major high. Gave her a magic brownie and she sat in a corner and literally cried about organic chem. Never again.
Unfortunately i'm awake, hungover, and covered in something I'm pretty sure is Easy Cheese. Send help.
If God is analyzing my life right now extremely proud or dissapointed but either way I took wednesday night drinkin to new levels
One minute I'm going home the next I'm getting railed on the back 9.
The only thing i ask you for is vegan food and sex.
We're on our way. We couldn't find our clothes this morning, so we're driving your car half naked. You owe me a cigarette.
Randomize
