Why don't you ever send me any naked pics
Did you hallucinate the same white buffalo that I did last night.
No, but I did see you shaking hands with a homeless man.
physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
I think the sex offender registry is kind of a VIP list. You get to not live near noisy schools and parks and all your neighbors get to know you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up covered in BBQ sauce. My hand had "you win" written on it. Do I celebrate?
who knew that a girl that let me piss on her within 20 minutes of meeting her would get upset i couldn't remember her name.
Also: how drunk is your brother? He just left me a message as batman.
So note to self oboe reeds soaked in Apple Rubinoff sound GREAT.
Also, my aunt grabbed my phone and downloaded the scriptures. Apparently I need Jesus.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Eating chips and sending nudes. This is my life.
well I got an eye infection from a stripper motorboating me but overall it was a great weekend
The fact that I bookended my summer with pregnancy scares doesn't upset me. The fact that he's a trombone major does...
Hes back in his dorm room dancing naked with 3D glasses on.
and he said that acid doesnt really do anything to him...
Last night I realized I made a dick appt 2 MONTHS IN ADVANCE!!!!....... WHO THE HELL DOES THAT!?!? LMAO!
I just learned that I could drop out of school and spend the rest of my savings on a giraffe are you free this weekend
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