Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
So... how did lowering your standards work out last night?
Was it cool?
About as cool as only getting a handjob on your honeymoon.
p.s. you have a small clit
YOU ARE THE MOST AWKWARD PERSON ALIVE.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't think I have ever puked up that much free breakfast in my life...thank god for Nickle Beers.
My relaxing drive may end up as a surprise bootycall in Pittsburgh. Don't try to stop me.
Does anyone know why "math wizard" is written on my arm?
I just spend twenty minutes scrubing the "Happy Birthday" off of my vagina. He's never gonna forget this.
Tip of the day: Don't ever send a bootycxall at 3 in aftnoon. No one will respond n u'll just feel fooolish.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Then you bent down and whispered, "excuse me mr. Stair, could you please stop moving?"
Never in my life did I dream that I would meet and NFL linesman, let alone that he would be standing before me dressed as a Roman centurion and asking for Vaseline.
WHAT IF I SAT OUTSIDE AND STARTED SCREAMING THE LYRICS TO O CANADA WOULD THAT FIX IT
PLEASE DON'T
I didn't think it was possible but he dislocated his thumb during intercourse last night then cried
I just woke and boke and made apple pancakes. I'm kicking Monday in the dick.
Well, i'm not hugging a bag of cheetos and crying while I watch Friends wishing that we were Ross and Rachel. So clearly I'might doing better than last night.
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