I can hear the grilled cheese talking to me. "Let me in there!" they wanna get inside me
How drunk are you??
I'm flawless.
billy ray cyrus is narrating a show on the history channel. my iq cant decide whether to go up or down.
he sent her a picture of his penis to show that he "trusts her" or some shit like that..well she showed it to me, and let me just tell you..it looked like a freaking slug or something. creepiest penis i've ever seen. hands down
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just left during the middle of Chemistry to go throw up in the bathroom....and you laughed at my travel toothbrush.
you called me at 4 am to tell me you found the cracker barrel location where we'll have lunch next week
U know u have sex too much when u have lube in ur rolliball on ur blackberry
I wish they had an "I'm Stoned" genre on online Netflix
I lost a little respect for your boyfriend when I learned that he has a scar from a Cheerio.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Finished sriting an apology letter to my liver 2 weeks before st. Patricks game on
I can't feel my clothes. I'm convinced I'm naked
There are Vine videos that have lasted longer than he did
I hate being the only medical professional in the group. I always end up patching you guys or being the DD when I'm on call. I have problems I need to drown in booze too...
They finally caught us and banned us forever, but it was worth it because we didn't have to pay for light bulbs for at least 3 years.
So you stole light bulbs, from your favorite bar, and got banned, and you're happy?
Look we couldnt pay for light bulbs and ramen, and you can't eat light bulbs or cook in the dark. Win - win.
You gave me a bottle of tequila and introduced me to a ginger named cowboy. I actually love you.
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