There is something about drinking on a golf course and getting with younger women that just really makes me feel at home.
To make up for the snow days we missed he's making us write a paper on alcoholism. It's like he knows.
Drinking at work by myself... My boss just walked into me copying my face on the copy machine..
I just spiked the applesauce. Try to tell me again your party is better.
Is it possible to just pretend that everything we did after grilling up your goldfish didn't happen?
Currently getting "blaow" buzzed into my pubes. How's your thursday?
So. Do you think marshmallow vodka in hot chocolate while eating a graham cracker would = s'mores?
In some strange universe, yes
We need to go back to the barter system so I can sell my body and just be done with it.
Don't you judge us. Sockets make ideal bowls
I feel like that's something that he should've asked me over dinner..... instead of with his hand down my pants? maybe not
I'm totally going to bang the cable guy tonight. I'm so pumped
Nah it's alright, I'll just ride cock all the way to hell
I know it's going to be a good day because he didn't notice the bite mark on my butt.
I thought I needed to get laid. Turns out I just needed pasta.
He woke me up at 6:30 to have sex again and afterwards, he didn't even judge me when I asked him if he wanted some rum. I think I found my soulmate.
Randomize
