I had a disgustingly explicit dream last night involving myself and lil wayne.
The only thing I have to prove last night happened is a fireman's hat full of puke.
i came out of the bathroom and he had christmas lights wrapped up his leg, around his boner, and down the other side
I feel like im in a tornado of daylight savings, tequila and death
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Agreed. Everyone should experience a blackout before 3pm in their lifetime.
I still don't understand how I went from crying to blowing you in like two minutes.
I think for all the guys in my phone, I'm going to change their pictures to pics of their dicks. It's easier to identify them that way.
wearing my roomate's scarf as a dress...halloween 2011 ladies and gentlemen
So I'm not dead, but close call. I think I can handle one more bar.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Mom got high last night and started crying because she feels bad for Paula Deen. This is my family.
TYLER OWES ME SO MUCH
I LET A CREEPY MAN I DONT KNOW SUCK ON MY NIPPLES
I made him watch the first 5 episodes of Game of Thrones before I decided to sleep with him.
I googled my name and pictures of you drinking showed up. Way to steal my thunder....
If it makes you feel any better, I can't find the goldfish I dropped like five minutes ago.
I often wonder if we’re introverted extroverts, but I don’t think so. I think we’re just easily tired scumbags
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