grinding to god bless the USA? really?
shut up
Stop it. You sound like you're giving birth.
Those 2 guys from the sonic commercial will be virgins for life.
Just burped. Tasted like beer and cherios...Beerios. This is gonna be quite a day.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He is like that thing on the menu you would eat because nothing else looks remotely edible.
Is it bad that John just came to my work to have sex with me bc I felt bad that he slept on his porch last night locked out and I missed all his calls?
i caught the condom in my mouth.. dont ask me how
I think I just got a contact from my own exhale. Def dying.
Wow way to turn my death into an oppurtunity to get laid
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
According to FB I fucked in a field 365 days ago.
he also bled all over my floor. unrelated to cats but true nonetheless.
He danced with some other girls and you started yelling "I can't believe I wasted half my Chili's gift card on you" at him
If Dr Phil has taught me anything about myself, it’s that I can seriously relate to those women who fake their pregnancies.
friends who go to the bar together leave the bar together and im not leaving you behind ohana means family
He said when the pizza came I zip locked one slice and went to the couch and snuggled with it. Does that give you an idea of how my night was?
Randomize