idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
My own vomit just splashed me in the face. How's your day going
He kept telling me how extraordinarily clean my ears were.
there's a strong possibility i came on your eyeliner last night bathroom sex was unplanned and rather messy sorry
Is it a bad thing that I'm trimming my nose hairs in anticipation for the 8ball to be delivered?
And he came all over himself. At least he didn't ruin my new lulus.
Actually though that could've been bad.
I'm so lazy and tired i just want to cry and fall asleep in a bed of egg mcmuffins.
Ugh. I'm going to die alone, sister. Half-eaten by one of my thirty-seven cats and clutching a martini shaker
What drinking game we play yesterday? Fight club or something?
I don't know what you slipped me, but my TV is vomming blood right now. Thanks, jerkoff.
If this gives you any indication of my current state, I stopped at Meijer after work and bought funyuns, pregnancy tests and chocolate.
This hangover is too legit right now. I just sneezed and almost puked
But if you move out who will get drunk with me on the roof and yell at boys?!?
I just puked on a sprinkler…Motherfucker tried to spray me
He gave his liver a pep talk before the vodka chugging started
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