I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
The worst part was when my mom got more drunk than anyone else and started doing the Time Warp.
guess what. just found out I had mono. no wonder alcohol didn't taste good on nye
he said "cool" when i took off my bra and proceeded to stare wideeyed at them the ENTIRE time. it was like sleeping with the kid i showed my boobs to for the first time in 6th grade.
She played chubby bunny with our cocks.. She got 4
you were watching the nanny crying, saying I wish I was that thin eating twinkies. THAT DRUNK.
I don't want to talk about her cat for two hours only to dry hump till I'm blistered. Not worth it.
How sober do you have to be to donate blood?
is it too much to get a jumbo margarita in a sippy cup right now?
found my necklace. it was safe with all 6 boxes of peeps that i bought that night.
since you saved your number in my phone as "the hot chick you met last Friday" I don't know who you are either
Dave, I love you but you're barking up the wrong lesbian. You sir are the competition. You don't threesome with competition.
If I have to masturbate more than twice a week you fail as a fuck buddy. Just so you know...................you failed
Have you ever had chicken nuggets while high? Because it tastes like hearing the Beatles for the first time
She showed up at 4:30 in the morning HAMMERED, stripped, demanded sex, then after 4 failed attempts stopped me mid-thrust to tell me she thought we should be fucking for a cause, like animal rights. Process that for a second. She wanted us to be fucking for animal rights.
Randomize
