And my awkwardness continues. I felt the need to send him a text that said roar. I did it.
would it be rude to tell a homeless man that he should sell the lebron jersey and brand new nikes he's wearing if he's really that hungry
it wasn't sex, it was awkward naked time.
i just googled "alcohol delivery service". im combating drunk driving one lazy act a time.
It's a gateway drink.... Starts with wine... Then I wake up in my car with mascara on my arms covered in french fries...
Can we just ponder our lives for a second.
No I think my brain may implode in a puff of cocaine and sparkles.
Abort mission; I repeat: Abort mission.I found an attractive one.
Technically, I traded a soft pretzel for sex last night...
You did things that should be illegal to a Twinkie and asked strangers to drive you home.
I think I heard my penis growl. Wanna do lunch?
when I was walking home I wad so excited to see a cat on the sidewalk but it was really a traffic cone
I've had more sex since the twins moved in than I'd had in the previous four years. They are the best wingman ever.
he sent a dick pic to my best friends phone for me cause mine died lol pretty sure he was regretting that night outta town.
Why in the hell is there a guy dressed up as a horse passed out in our kitchen.
happy birthday!
It’s Sunday Funday! Stop watching football and bring your penis over here. There will be plenty of scoring!
Randomize
