Well I think that's a good thing that I'm not full of someone else.
I feel like I am becoming dumber sitting here in class than I would be sitting on the couch smoking weed.
Only in college do people pre-game a meteor shower
I'm doing laundry in pjs and heels, home alone with my margarita bucket.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You should seriously consider super glueing your knees together
The power of my vagina can withstand any attempt of celibacy
I need moral support for this bender
Don't you realize there's more to life than sex and pizza rolls?
WAIT DID YOU MAIL ME A KITTEN
All I know is that I'm not gonna send out SOS messages via twitter for your rescue this time.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You're always so generous when it comes to your dick.
You work today? I woke up with a raging boner that was whispering your name
She just walked up to him and was like "you should fuck Angela" and it worked! She is the ultimate wingman
You didn't try to help me when I fell on the dance floor. She brought me cupcakes. You're a shitty friend, suck your own dick.
If ur gunna go fuck a guy that's in the baseball hall of fame do you need to shave your legs? I'm so lazy
Did you see her happy birthday to emily on facebook? The gist of it is like: hey emily you almost died at birth im glad you didn't. love mom.
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