so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested
A few issues tonight. 1) Drunk since 1pm. 2) At the bar at 4pm. 3) James brought his sister, who has enormous breasts, isnt shy about cleavage, obviously slutty, and makes me want to do things that would even have Atheists sending me to hell. However, she's wearing glitter, so all Im thinking about is Edward Cullen. Go ahead and rip up my Man Card.
I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
only you would photoshop your dick
I was giving him a handjob and he commented that he loved my nailpolish....I'm destined to die a fag hag
she was using bread to soak up the vodka off the floor then proceeded to eat it.
he got a rim job in the basement.
apparently i was the one who gave it to him.
If I wake up with an unknown penis in me one more time I am literally going to press charges to the makers of tequila.
Happiness is watching your asshole boss' police DUI video.
The problem with drugs is that there's none in this hotel
The problem with drugs is that showing my boobs only gets so much of them
How many times have we said we'd stop taking Jell-O shots with strangers?
This is worse than naked and afraid. This is drunk and confused.
This is a mass text. Who in the hell shat on my stairs last night?
It's like every time I'm baked I discover my fingers all over again.
Started dabbing in blow again because he always hated that I did it. Yuh I’m doing drugs but at least I’m doing me?
Randomize
