It's just you. You wear the fuck me fedora and wear baller shorts, hollywood hippie who thinks she is shakira when she's drunk.
when i was 16 reading the aftercare instructions at the piercing place i wondered why they would ever think to warn me about getting semen in my bellybutton
then i met college
I'm home and safer than post-menopausal sex; you're welcome for the image. And yes, I did just use a semi-colon hammered.
Game over. He has a paternity test request on his table.
He gave me a trycicle he stole from a kid as an "offering" to have sex. I couldnt say no when he went through all that.
puking in a sink with a garbage disposal Fucking. Rules. It's like you're punishing your puke when you're done.
to improve your porn experience, just imagine a slow speaking older English man narrating it all like a Nature documentary
I'm wearing spiderman underwear, the question is what am I NOT capable of
I also point out to everyone that she looks like DJ's gf on Roseanne.
Omg. I can't go on a date with this man. His kids are too ugly.
It's only funny because he thinks you had sex with him to rob him.
OMFG. JUST WALKED IN ON A DUDE JERKING IT IN THE MCDONALDS BATHROOM
Stall or urinal?
I need to get some goddam control over my hormones
Right. Cuz nothing screams "You made it!" quite like selling your used underwear to strangers you met on the internet.
He stopped the gas pump at 69 and gave me my receipt. He wants it.
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