I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
I told you I would drunk text you sometime........its that time.
So we were banging and she started puking all over my bed. I'm not sure what's worse, her puking, or that I felt the urge to start singing Flip-adelphia.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Did we have sex last night or did we just wake up naked covered in oil?
I didn't mean to leave you there I just didn't know him well enough to throw up in his bathroom.
please don't go to jail. I'd hate to have to call the montgomery county jail every time I need sex advice
We have been pregaming the shutdown of the government since Tuesday. Send help, and some more liquor.
Just saw a dude in a banana costume get beat down by a one shoed black dude wearing a kilt...paninis is such a shit show after 10 on a Saturday
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
all i remember of last night is that i was drinking jameson and then NOTHING i do remember walking a dog though\nwhich is sooo fucking weird
OH MY GOD ITS COMING BACK I PUT THE DOG IN THE HOTTUB TOO
I sent "Rawrrrr" to 151 matches on Tinder. I feel like thats a substantial size of the DC female population.
I feel like every man should aspire to get a blowjob from a sword swallower.
My puke in the shower morning just turned into a puke in the restroom at work afternoon. I'm the human embodiment of dumpster fire.
I'm not gonna ask the guy I've fucked like 3 times if he is insecure about his eyebrows.
In what world does 'I'm awake' at 2:30 in the morning on a wednesday translate to 'let's fuck' in the span of one text? Where has the romance gone?
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