lets hang out tonight and do stupid stuff.
Dating you for 6 months was stupid enough. But thanks.
Small penises have feelings too.
do you think there was ever a doctor who smelled his finger after giving a prostate exam?
My phone really needs to stop auto correcting "library" to "ovary".
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just remembered our "im drunk enough to look at your vagina" conversation. Is that offer still valid? I really think I need a second opinion
Starting drinking whiskey at eight. Already had ten girls looking up my kilt to make sure I'm wearing it right.
Nobody is stopping the marines from drinking in class on veterans day. They literally brought a cooler with a bottle of whiskey and vodka on ice. And are passing out red cups to anyone interested. Staying in Vegas for college has officialy become an A+ decision
Apparently that big girl from last night tried to take me upstairs when I was blacked out and all I did was grab Qs arm and whisper 'don't let her take me'
And by pregame I mean drink heavily and watch Russian dash cam car crash vids
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I grinded with the guy who brought the scooter, I'm leaving with success
Oh my god I would go to planned parenthood the same day I get my nipples pierced
Am I supposed to confront my 52-year-old boss/mother of 3 about the fact that we matched on Tinder?
I joined the mile high club last night. I ran a mile while high on coke. It was glorious
He yelled "Go Ducks" while he came
Also apparently I made a "cake sandwich"--yeah smashed a massive piece of cake between two slices of bread....fucking tequila
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