I'm lost and stupid without you.
you went through ur friends list and posted an obscene comment on every ultrasound pic...."not his" "looks like a sea monkey"
i never thought it was possible to fit gay, redneck and asian into the same sentence before i met you.
and this wasn't even the first one i'd hooked up with
I'm going to make him fall in love with me one blow job at a time.
she's throwing things again.. almost stabbed herself in the eye with a fork.
You know were out to late when I call my hook up at 8:08pm and 8:08am in the same night.
Has anyone ever told you you're majestic like a sea turtle when you fuck?
And your cock privileges have been revoked.
she's like the billy mays of hookups...touch my boobs and i'll throw in this blow job ABSOLUTELY FREE
YOU DID DRUGS AFTER A THREESOME WHO ARE YOU TO JUDGE ME?!!?
I hope after we constantly bang for 2 days straight we can agree to be friends again
feelin groggy baby? need a coffee? vitamins? a nice good fuck on the piano?
Oh! You were the one walking around cradling the bottle of Fireball all night!
Ice cream and condoms, solid grocery store trip
I think after tonight I'm 85% lesbian
I'm drunk and he's still weird.
Randomize
