We were both sleeping and she woke up and just puked i feel so bad for everyone around us
She wanted to fuck you. You threw up on her. Congrats.
So my mouth tastes like dick. Does that explain how our talk went?
thats the last time I fuck a piece of fruit on camera for him.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Considering last night's endeavors, I am going to hell 5 times over. 1 for puking on a hobo, 1 for laughing about it, and 3 for remembering it today and laughing about it sober
I'm like a warm blanket that has sex with you
just witnessed some guy trade his friend $5 and a condom for his keys.
You sat on my knee, like Santa, while I peed.
This isn't fair. Why can't sober me be good at bejeweled?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hell hath no fury like a woman whose gay sidekick you insult
Give me a minute. I'm trying to buy moonshine from a railroad worker named "Cowboy."
I'll take care of you. Just let me pee on this old white person's car first.
I ordered more beers for everyone but had to finish them all. I promptly went outside and projectile vomited in the street. Three times.
uh...sober saturday NEVER has a good ring to it.
Dude, I just feel great. I love life so much and I love you. Love. Love. So much love.
Randomize